In dEeP tHoUghtS

A fundamental axiom of physics is that no two things can occupy the same space at the same time.

The same is true with Love. You cannot fall out of love with someone unless you have fallen for someone new…

Love is not blind. It sees but it doesn’t mind. It accepts everything it sees - the faults, shortcomings and the pain. For love is not all about the things that make you feel good. It entails sacrifice, swallowing of pride, understanding and forgiveness…

Does love get tired?…Yes. Like the body it needs nourishment, care, attention and most of all…TIME.

Love does get tired. But true love doesn’t.

Tears fall as the water runs down from my head to the toes of my feet…

It feels cold. For a minute it lessened the heaviness of my heart.

In here I can cry it all out.

I do wish that as the water goes into the drain, it takes with it all this pain…

I’ll wait for that morning when my first thoughts are no longer for him. Then I would realize that I had already let him go. It may not be the best sunrise, but I will go through the day knowing my sunset will be better… For I know, I am no longer hurting…

If I had to pick a theme song at this point in my life, this is it. Fits perfectly.

Thanks to Carrie Underwood for the lyrics!

There’s some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I’ve been through,
Damage I cannot undo.
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don’t really matter,
When life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
And everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I’m thankful, for every break in my heart,
I’m grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There’s mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should have taken,
Been some signs I didn’t see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don’t make no difference,
The past can’t be rewritten,
You get the life you’re given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are the things that make you strong!
You can’t change the past,
Cause it’s gone.
And you just gotta move on,
Because it’s all
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
From everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night,
From every change, life has thrown me.
I’m thankful, for every break in my heart,
I’m grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.

 

There’s so much darkness in the world 

but I see beauty left in you girl                                                         and what you give me lets me know 

that I’ll be alright coz                                                                 

if your love was all I had in this life 

well that would be enough

until the end  of time                                                                  

so rest your weary heart and relax your mind 

coz i’m gonna love you girl                         

until the end of time…

 

(from the song “Until the end of time” by Justin Timberlake)

 

The truth is - there is no such thing as until the end of time and forever because only CHANGE is constant in this world.

 

Things                                                                                                           People                                                                                                                

Feelings                                                                                                               Situations                                                                                                            

Belief                                                                                                                  

Attitude              

 

They all change eventually. You cannot do anything about it no matter how much you fight it. So accept it. Easy to say, huh? Most of us resist change. We are scared to end what we are used to. We are scared to start again.

 

Getting used to something takes time.

Accepting change takes a longer time.

 

Help yourself by believing that there is an end to forever.

Tomorrow you’ll wake up and yesterday is your past.

You can only hold on long enough.

Sooner or later,

it will change…

 

A month ago…

It’s 1:30 in the morning and I am driving home from Alabang…

The roads are not busy anymore

All you can see are huge trucks with their bright headlights…

I feel at peace staring at the road with my right hand on the wheel,

my right food at the accelerator and my back leaning relaxingly against the driver’s seat.

I have changed. A great part of me had changed.

I no longer complicate things.

I no longer impose a lot of “to do’s” for myself.

I no longer envision myself 5-10 yrs from now and wonder what would I become?

What would my life be?

Would I be successful? Would I be rich?

If I could sum up all the causes of pain, hurt & suffering in one word…

It’s what you call EXPECTATION

and I devoid myself of that…

Life became simpler, happier…

I loved what I had become.

I no longer am the pessimist I used to be.

But at this moment, here I am…

Staring at the ceiling of my small room,

Thinking of what the future has in store for me…

Planning to return to the complicated & demanding world of expectation I left behind.

My old self is coming back…

The ambitious, goal-oriented & competitive abby wants to resurface

and take over my life once again.

For her, I lost track of what I should be aiming for.

She’s starting to make plans again…

Targets, work, future…

She wanted me to become the girl I used to be…

So in-control of my life

Strong & independent

An achiever

With stress as her best friend,

With work as her life

And smiling was a task.

I need her to bring me back on track.

I need her to motivate me to do things I’m capable of but refuse to do,

I need her strength and wisdom to materialize my dreams.

I need her back in my life.

But this time, I won’t let her be in control.

I would teach her to relax, to smile, and appreciate every bump

And intersection we’ll come across as we travel the road to reach our goals.

LIFE IS NOT A RACE…

BUT A JOURNEY TO BE ENJOYED EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

There’s a wonderful feeling of liberation that you get when you don’t care what anyone thinks about you - so why are you worried about seeming perfect?

The stress caused by always trying to dress the right way, say the right thing & be the right kind of person takes a lot of energy out of you. To really start feeling good, give up the useless quest for perfection.

Let yourself do what feels right and you will become the kind of person you can be proud of.

I can do it

Let me do that

I can manage

No problem

Everything’s under control

I’m sick and damn tired of these lines

All these years I’ve been that “strong” & “reliable” girl

So independent and likes to handle things on my own

But what if this time, I want to feel weak, to be needy, to be vulnerable?

Would you lend me your hand?

Would you offer me your shoulders?

Would you wrap me in your arms?

Would you tell me the words I need to hear?

Please do…

Coz I can’t do this all by myself anymore

I need someone

I need you

Staring at the dark & starless sky

Cold wind blowing against my face

Wishing you were right here beside me

Holding my hand as I rest my head upon your shoulders

Simply spending the night together

Talkin’ bout how our day went, our plans for tomorrow,

our insights, our dreams….

Reminiscing how we met, became friends & eventually, lovers….

Then I felt a tap on my back.

“Let’s go, girl…It’s getting late. We should be heading home already…”

It came to me that for a moment my mind

drifted away from reality.

There was no hand holding me…

No shoulders for my head to rest upon…

Nobody sitting beside me…

All that was left were questions, hopes, wishes and regrets….

Why, o why did destiny let our paths cross?

Was it my entire fault why it didn’t work out?

Or is there someone else meant for me….

Why can’t it be us?

For several nights I’ve tried resolving all of these

But instead of answers, more and more questions came up

And it pains me that while I ‘m here staring at the dark and

starless sky of Tagaytay,

You are there…some place else…

Holding somebody else’s hand

With her head resting upon your shoulders

Spending the cold night together

Talkin’ bout how your day went, your plans, your insights,

your dreams….

Reminiscing how you met, became friends & eventually, lovers….

Just like what I’ve been dreaming us to become L